A Shredded Heart, A Goodbye? Never.


BEFORE YOU READ: This is unlike my usual posts. This is about someone who is extremely special in my life. I have never had the guts to show him this, and I guess I never will. But hey, instead I share it with the entire world. And if this person does stumble upon this, I love you, even more than your shadow. 

 

Mostly disturbing but still so true. I told you I missed you and the fact that I loved you, over and over again. You still did not see. I may not have hoped for you to understand, but you told me you did. You gave me that hope. I guess I should be verbal like those others, you know the ones, but I am not.

I was hoping for something, yes it’s true. My heart was lead astray – towards the balcony of that cute boy living next door. You were sweet, and we were instantly friends. At five years old, I knew you held a special place in my heart, well, I did loose my first tooth on your birthday.

I could lie and tell you that I cried. Because, trust me, I really wanted to, but even the tears have died. My heart has been shredded into pieces so many times that it is impossible to mend. So now, instead of tears and emotions, I have a deep hollow space It’s a void which I hope someone would fill someday. But maybe, my heart has decided that it was meant only for one.

So, I knew you ARE my special. I also know that I won’t ever be your ‘special’. But I am sorry that I have to repeat it over and over again, I can’t mend this broken piece of work. I wish sometimes that my heart was a ‘fill in the blanks’ worksheet, and I would instantly know all the right answers. But no, it’s not.

You said that goodbye, and it seemed final.

But the sorry? That was just an added accessory. My heart doesn’t want to accessorize, it wants to stay natural.

I guess I miss you and I always will. I love you too. But I guess you already know that.

 

You said I was special

for you it seemed.

But she said you were special

for her.

 

But as you shattered my heart

it made me want to cry.

But even the last drop of tears

had already run dry.

 

So here’s to the seventeen years

I spent knowing you, loving you

and I probably won’t stop,

Just like the morning dew.

 

But I know she’s better than me

I get that the rest are ‘more’.

But I guess it was my heart 

that doesn’t want to be sure.

 

You were a part of me

even before I knew it

So if I am not yours,

I understand, I’ll find my way.

 

I have been lost before

a million starry times

but I will teach this beating beast

to shut down this time.

 

‘Cause I can’t handle more,

I guess I’m done.

My heart comes with a logo,

that says, ‘handle with care’

I think the logo has been washed away

and so has that lovely day.

Question Marks of A Teenage Life


As today follows through, the doubts still remain, the confusion is still the same. 

 

Hello World!

Image

It’s time to finally address the questions every teenager has in their life. Let’s start from the basics, and I hope you all can relate.

Q1) Is the friend circle that I am in right for me? 
Now this was probably my most important question. As I went to senior school, I had to build  up a friendship with new people, and the most difficult part was to decide whether my choices are right or not. To all those people who are in this phase, if you like and enjoy someone’s company, then go ahead and shake a hand of friendship and don’t care about what anyone thinks! If you enjoy talking to t socially awkward kid in the class, lend a hand of friendship. It’ll be worth it. I promise! 🙂

Q2) Is popularity everything?
For me, being popular in school meant hanging out with cringe worthy people. That wasn’t so much fun as it is hanging out with my current mates. So dear all, if you are popular then cool! But if you aren’t, and you do not enjoy the ‘cool kidz’ company, don’t torture yourself! No one will find a future depending upon the popularity circle they were in at school.

Q3) Influence by friends,good or bad?
Keep. Your. Boundaries. Teenage is the age where most teens are given a platform to experience life, learn and grow. It is the time when many people wish to influence you. Just remember, hear what they are saying, but be logical and do what you  think is right. And always, no matter what, keep your boundaries.

Hey guys we all have a voice! Let me know what are your opinions. Also mention what your doubts and questions were/are as a teenager, and lets see  how we can reflect upon ourselves!

 

See you soon!
Srish .x

Confusion?


Hello There!

Cartoon-Confusion-Question-Mark-300x300

So today, I am here, blogging, to state my confusion. My confusion on life, and my confusion about the future. I am hoping for a little help here friends!
The main reason I have spent sleepless nights and days that I have yet not discovered is because I am afraid of the future. I am aware at the back of my head, that I should figure out what I need to do with my life by now. However, the reality doesn’t even come close. When I chose my subjects, I was a 100% sure of the career path that I wanted to choose. But now, looking back, I am not aware of what to do with my life. The subjects that I used to love once, have now just become a burden, an additional weight over my head.

I am also aware that I need to chose my life at this very moment. In just a few months, I would be in the outer world, and for that I need to know my path. If not the whole way, I do need to know where I need to start. So now as I have started my bubble of confusion, I need to burst it.

So dear friends, please help me burst out of it. What do you guys reckon I should do? Any degree suggestions?

Also I would love to know what you aspire to be in the future, or what you are doing with your life! Maybe some of you would inspire me and help clear up the fog!

See ya later Guys!

Srish

xoxo