BEFORE YOU READ: This is unlike my usual posts. This is about someone who is extremely special in my life. I have never had the guts to show him this, and I guess I never will. But hey, instead I share it with the entire world. And if this person does stumble upon this, I love you, even more than your shadow.
Mostly disturbing but still so true. I told you I missed you and the fact that I loved you, over and over again. You still did not see. I may not have hoped for you to understand, but you told me you did. You gave me that hope. I guess I should be verbal like those others, you know the ones, but I am not.
I was hoping for something, yes it’s true. My heart was lead astray – towards the balcony of that cute boy living next door. You were sweet, and we were instantly friends. At five years old, I knew you held a special place in my heart, well, I did loose my first tooth on your birthday.
I could lie and tell you that I cried. Because, trust me, I really wanted to, but even the tears have died. My heart has been shredded into pieces so many times that it is impossible to mend. So now, instead of tears and emotions, I have a deep hollow space It’s a void which I hope someone would fill someday. But maybe, my heart has decided that it was meant only for one.
So, I knew you ARE my special. I also know that I won’t ever be your ‘special’. But I am sorry that I have to repeat it over and over again, I can’t mend this broken piece of work. I wish sometimes that my heart was a ‘fill in the blanks’ worksheet, and I would instantly know all the right answers. But no, it’s not.
You said that goodbye, and it seemed final.
But the sorry? That was just an added accessory. My heart doesn’t want to accessorize, it wants to stay natural.
I guess I miss you and I always will. I love you too. But I guess you already know that.
You said I was special
for you it seemed.
But she said you were special
But as you shattered my heart
it made me want to cry.
But even the last drop of tears
had already run dry.
So here’s to the seventeen years
I spent knowing you, loving you
and I probably won’t stop,
Just like the morning dew.
But I know she’s better than me
I get that the rest are ‘more’.
But I guess it was my heart
that doesn’t want to be sure.
You were a part of me
even before I knew it
So if I am not yours,
I understand, I’ll find my way.
I have been lost before
a million starry times
but I will teach this beating beast
to shut down this time.
‘Cause I can’t handle more,
I guess I’m done.
My heart comes with a logo,
that says, ‘handle with care’
I think the logo has been washed away
and so has that lovely day.